When problems arise, don’t panic...try this instead.
Hey Moms,
Does it ever feel like life is just one big challenge after another? Do you feel overwhelmed and even panicky at times because there is so much to deal with in mom life? I know you all have a lot on your plate and that you are working hard to handle everything. Whether it is worries over the kids, things breaking down around the house, money concerns or marriage issues, I think we’d all like a little more peace of mind and I have some good tips for you today to help you find it.
Here are some of my best tips for solving whatever problems come your way in life.
#1-Don’t panic.
Pause and take a minute to breathe. Remind yourself that everything is OK in the present moment. There are obviously some really big problems in life that really don’t seem OK, but in the majority of our day-to-day lives we can manage whatever comes our way. Most of life’s problems don’t require immediate solutions. What they do require is patience and determination to keep trying until we get to the other side of them.
When things go wrong with our kids for example, it’s so easy to freak out and get to a point where we can’t think straight.
I remember a time when one of my kids got in big trouble at school. I was so alarmed by the call from the principal’s office, that I didn’t allow myself time to really consider the best thing to do. In retrospect I wish I had just stayed calm and waited to talk to my son about the situation before going into freak out mode. My fear-based reaction escalated the situation rather than helping, and it didn’t do anything for my relationship with my son at the time either.
Of course we all live and learn through situations like that, but what I have learned is that fear and panic are like a runaway train for our mom brains, and it doesn’t take us to a good place! Staying calm to the extent possible will really put in you the best frame of mind for problem solving, which leads me to #2.
#2 Start to problem solve. Imagine yourself talking to a friend, or actually talk to a wise friend and see what input they give you. Give yourself the love and reassurance that a good friend would give you. Allow yourself whatever time you need to deal with the situation that is stressing you out. Tough challenges take time and you often need to think and grow in new ways to overcome them.
To help with problem solving, ask yourself good questions. Questions like…
I wonder what I could do differently to get a different result in this situation?
I wonder what’s going on with my child that is making him/her act this way?
I wonder what other people do who have similar challenges?
These kinds of questions put you into problem solving mode and are more effective and empowering than questions like “Why is this happening to me?”
#3 Manage your mind when it wants to run away with itself.
When things are stressful, some of us are just prone to going straight to the worst case scenario. But fear ties our mind up in knots and creates anxiety. Stressful moments are great time to practice some reassuring self-talk that will help you stay out of a fearful fight or flight state of mind.
Whatever is going on, tell yourself it will be ok and that you are able to handle whatever comes your way.
Bonus tip: One thing to keep in mind is that a lot of problems seem bigger at night. If you find yourself tossing and turning trying to sort things out at night, try calming your nerves by telling yourself that you will think things over in the morning after a good night’s sleep. Say a prayer or read or listen to a book to get your mind off your problems until you are rested and better able to think things through.
One thing I have found to be true is that when we’re stressing we’re usually stretching…
And stretching is a very good thing. There really is no better way to grow than to confront problems we’ve never experienced before.
As a mom of 6 kids, I can tell you that there will always be things to worry about and stress over. There are also always reasons to smile and be happy. Relax, take a step back from your problems, and see if you can get some leverage over them by staying calm and problem solving like you would with a friend. Hold on to hope for the future, and believe in yourself that you are up for whatever challenges life sends your way.
Hang in there and know that “This too shall pass.”
I’d love to hear from you anytime. What are the best ways you’ve found to handle your problems? Please share! Drop a comment below or email me anytime at rachel@mom-mindset.com.
XOXO
Rachel
