How to never waste time again
““The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.””
Do you ever feel like you are busy all day but never really getting anything done? Do you find yourself thinking that you are so caught up in meeting your family’s needs that you don’t have a minute to yourself?
I’m pretty sure every mom feels that way at times. I often hear moms say “My life is not my own.” I’ve said that exact sentence many times myself, and when I do I have mixed feelings about it. I love having a big family and a home to take care of, but it can also feel like I never quite get on top of things, and also that there might be more I could do if I could just manage my time better.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, and here is what I have figured out. If you set your priorities and focus mainly on those priorities, you will never be wasting time, ever. You may not be able to accomplish everything you want to in every season of your life, but you can stop worrying about wasting time and “not getting things done.” While the to-do list might be never ending, putting first things first is the key to making sure that you are doing what matters most.
We all have different priorities, but here’s a list of some common priorities for moms:
Marriage
Kids
Home/yard
Personal care/health
Sleep
Spiritual life
Managing money
Free time/relaxation/travel
Career/job/business
Extended family and friends
Causes/Volunteer work
Caring for parents
Depending on the age and stage of life you are in, some of these won’t apply at all, and some will be way down the list for someday (maybe). Regardless of your situation, take a look at that list and then think about what your current priorities are today. (Feel free to add any that I’ve missed of course.)
Once you have identified your top priorities, I’d encourage you to take some time to prioritize your priorities. This will help you start to recognize what is absolutely most important to you right now so that you can know how to allocate your time. Establishing your top priorities will help you feel ok saying no to some things, or to letting them take a backseat, so you can focus on what is most important to you in your current phase of life.
When you are clear on your priorities your days start to have more meaning and purpose. It feels so good to know that you are putting effort into the things that matter most to you.
Clear priorities and focus also help with the comparison game I think we all get caught up in on social media at times. When we have a sense that we are living our life according to what is most important to us, we gain self-confidence and a sense of direction that is very grounding.
It might be interesting to look at the priority list above and estimate the time that each activity takes you each day or week. You might be surprised how much time you actually have (at least on paper), when you break it down into daily and weekly chunks. Some things, like taking care of kids, can be very open ended and hard to define, but just trying to estimate can be very enlightening.
When I did this activity, I found that I had about 4 hours a day that were unaccounted for. I’m sure some of that is travel time, and time when things take longer than expected, but it’s good to know that life doesn’t need to feel quite as hectic as it does sometimes. I like to remind myself that I have plenty of time for all the important people and priorities in my life. That’s one of my go-to thoughts when I feel like there is too much to do! Feel free to adopt it if you like it. :)
I hope you will find this exercise helpful and encouraging. There really is time to do everything, just not all at once in every season of life.
Deliberately setting priorities will help you manage your time more effectively and feel good about how you are investing it. By definition, investing means “to devote (one's time, effort, or energy) to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result.” Any time invested in your home, family, spiritual life, health etc. will help set you up for a beautiful, fulfilling life in the future.
Take a minute right now and think back to some of the priorities you have invested your time in and how those investments are coming back to you today. Can you give your past self some appreciation and love for doing whatever she did that is blessing your life right now? Really think about the many things you’ve done for yourself, your family, and your home. How have those investments paid off? What time investments do you want to make more of in the future?
What can you do today that your future self will thank you for?
Moms, I really want to express to you that if you are spending/investing your time on your highest priorities, you never need to feel badly that you are not doing enough or not doing things well enough. You are always learning, growing and getting better with time.
Next time your brain tries to tell you that you’re “not getting things done”, just stop and think for a minute about what you’re actually doing. Unless you are literally spending all day on the couch watching Netflix, or mindlessly scrolling social media, I’m going to bet you are doing plenty! Things might look a little messy and chaotic, and there will always be more to do, but that is how life goes.
Sometimes it can be very hard to value what we do when no one pays us or praises us for it. Sometimes our efforts are even criticized, like when we make a dinner that no one likes. That is when we have to be our own cheerleaders and have confidence that we are doing what matters to us, even if we’re not doing it perfectly.
I knew a man years ago who lost his young wife very suddenly shortly after they had a baby. She had been a stay-at-home-mom to their little family. After she was gone he said something very touching. His comment was, “I used to wonder what my wife did all day. Now I wonder how she ever got anything done.”
Doesn’t that just make you want to cry? I don’t blame the husband for wondering how his wife spent her days. I think we all wonder sometimes where the time goes while we are busy taking care of our homes and families. But the point I am trying to make here is that our time is never wasted when we are using it to build a life and a home full of love.
Embrace all the steps along the way of the life you are creating. The dirty diapers, the dishes, the sleep deprivation, and the teenage drama are all a part of the process. Like an architect designing a dream home, visualize the life you want to create, then set your priorities and invest your time accordingly. Know that as life goes on, there will be a time for everything you dream and desire. The scriptures say,
To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven. {Ecclesiastes 3:1}
For today, give your best to those things that matter most now. Do what only you can do for your family in your current phase of life. Most of all take time for your kids, no matter how long it takes. Read to them, listen to them, keep them close to you. Time spent teaching, nurturing, and loving kids is always time well spent.
I hope that thinking this way helps and encourages you as you try to make the most of your time. Please let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment below or emailing me at rachel@mom-mindset.com. I’d love to hear from you anytime.
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XOXO
Rachel