Give yourself this amazing free gift everyday!

I hope the title of this post grabbed you a little bit. I really wanted to share these thoughts during the Christmas season when our minds tend to be so focused on giving gifts and doing good. I’ve got a suggestion about a free gift you can give to yourself everyday. And, no surprise here, it’s a mindset thing! 

The gift I’m talking about is the gift of positive self-talk, specifically giving yourself the gift of encouragement. I’ve been wanting to write this post for a long time because I think self-talk is the single most important contributing factor to our happiness or lack of it. There are a lot of external inputs that impact how we think, but our own voice in our head is our own best friend or worst enemy. The way we talk to ourselves, and think about ourselves, will make or break our life experience. 

I know that’s a bold statement. I know it feels like the thoughts in our heads are just there and  we can’t control them. I understand that past life experiences have a huge impact on how we think and perceive the world. 

I also know that the best person to give you what you need at any given moment is you. 

You are your own greatest source of inspiration, empowerment, and encouragement.What you believe and tell yourself about your efforts, your abilities, your circumstances and your potential is going to lift you up and move you forward, or keep you stuck and spinning right where you are. 

If I could give you just one suggestion to start to change your self-perception, it would be this…

Give yourself some encouragement!

That’s it. Giving yourself encouragement is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself to lift your spirits and to give you the power to overcome the negative thinking that is holding you back  in any area of your life. Encouragement truly is a gift that keeps on giving. It is something that is completely free, and every single one of us needs more of it!

Even the simplest words of encouragement have the power to lift your mood and energy level and move you in a positive direction. To help you see this, I want you to think about something encouraging someone said to you that had a positive impact. 

As I wrote that, my mind went back to a day at church years ago when I was very pregnant and feeling pretty awful. A lovely neighbor of mine was coming toward me down the hall when she just threw her arms around me and said “You look so beautiful!” This neighbor was just that kind of person. She was always cheerful and always had a good word to say. But in that moment, it was like she was an angel sent to give me life. And it was just words. A few simple words that meant so much to me that I still remember what I was wearing and where I was standing when I encountered her angelic, life-giving presence that day. 

I know you’ve had those moments, and I know you have been that source of encouragement for others at times too. What I am saying to you today is, do that for yourself every.single.day. But don’t stop with yourself, ask yourself who else needs the gift of encouragement and pour it out on everyone in sight! 

So how do we do this, since it doesn’t seem to come naturally to most of us to encourage ourselves? What are some encouraging thoughts you can think when you are feeling discouraged, depressed, or overwhelmed? Below are some ideas to get you going. Feel free to think up your own ideas for any areas of your life where you need a mental boost. 

As you read, notice how these thoughts resonate in your mind. Look for one or two that speak to what you need in your life right now to lift your spirits and give you the validation you need that may not be coming from others. It’s a long list so feel free to skim.:)

When you’re really trying but it seems like nothing you are doing is making a difference…My efforts are definitely helping. 

When you don’t think you’re getting through to your kids…My children are listening and learning. (They really are, but you don’t always know it right away.)

When you keep making the same mistakes. I’m in a process of growth and I keep getting better.

When you want to give up on a worthwhile effort…I’m going to stick with this as long as it takes to figure this out and get the results I want.

When you’re frustrated with a lack of progress in some area…I haven’t mastered this yet, or I’m not where I want to be yet.

When family relationships seem too hard and you” just can’t” anymore…I won’t give up on myself or my family members.

When your kids are driving you nuts…I can be patient a little longer. I can be a calm mom etc 

When something is REALLY hard…There is something I can learn from this experience. God can turn bad things into good things. 

When someone says something that hurts your feelings…This probably isn’t personal or I choose not to take this personally. 

When you don’t understand why someone does what they do..Everyone is doing their best and trying to be happy.

When you’re in a dark place and you feel unloved and alone…God will always love me no matter what. He is always there for me.

When you don’t know what the heck you’re doing…I can figure this out.

When you really want something right now and it’s not happening....When things are right, they come. (This one has been my go-to life phrase for decades!)

When you just have to hold on to get through life…I’m going to make it through this. This too shall pass. (That one is in the scriptures so you can count on it!)

When someone else lets you down...I can always count on me.

When you’re scared of what the future holds…I will always take care of me and my family.

When it feels like you will never overcome that one weakness…I’m not perfect, but I’m progressing. God can turn weaknesses into strengths.With God all things are possible. (I snuck 3 in there but they were too good to leave out.:)

When you aren’t happy with your appearance or how you feel about yourself…Beauty and confidence come from within. I can choose to feel beautiful and be confident at any age, size or weight. 

I could keep going, but the important thing is that you identify what’s discouraging you by noticing the thoughts and limiting beliefs that are running through your head. When you find those discouraging thoughts, replace them with any words or phrases that you find encouraging when you hear them from others. If there is anything that would mean the world to you if someone you admired said it to you, SAY IT TO YOURSELF. You don’t have to wait for anyone else to give you the encouragement you need. You always have you.

If you have a long history of negative self-talk you may find it hard to encourage yourself, but you can do it with time and practice. It really does take time to change your neural pathways (connections in the brain) from negative thinking patterns. They become like well worn paths in the mind, but they can be changed and rerouted. 

Even if you are generally a positive person, there may be some thought patterns you could improve on to give you even more positive energy. We all have areas where we feel insecure, inadequate, and just plain stuck. And it all comes back to our thoughts. 

For today, I encourage you to start to pay attention to the little voice in your head. What are you telling yourself about your mothering, your house, your husband, your body, your energy, your money etc? What do you need to hear to be encouraged, motivated, and validated?

Encouragement is a totally free gift you can give yourself. Giving yourself the gift of encouragement will instantly raise your spirits and give you more confidence and energy. And while you work on encouraging yourself, look for opportunities to give encouragement to everyone in your life! You’ll feel better and they will too!

Try it and let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear what encourages you!

Leave a comment below or email me anytime at rachel@mom-mindest.com. 

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XOXO

Rachel