Why Weight?
Worried about your weight? A little mindset management and a positive approach can help you put things in perspective and achieve a healthy body image.
This post is for all the women out there who are obsessing about their weight at the expense of more important things in life. After listening to hundreds of hours of coaching calls, I can say for sure that for many women weight is an ongoing concern that is often at the forefront of their minds. Whether it’s a few pounds or a huge amount of weight they feel they need to lose, many women worry excessively about their weight and appearance. I include myself in this because body image is something I’ve worked on for years myself!
But here’s the thing…
Your weight does not need to be a barrier to doing anything you want to do in your life. Almost nothing of real significance has any connection to how much you weigh.
At any weight you can…
Be an amazing, involved, loving parent and partner.
Walk, hike, swim, bike, dance, run etc
Travel
Be creative, in whatever form that takes for you.
Enjoy entertainment-concerts, plays, movies, sporting events etc.
Serve others.
Get an education.
Be a great friend.
Cook and eat fabulous food.
Pursue hobbies and interests.
Play a musical instrument.
Look great and have great style,
Post swimsuit pics on social media lol
I could go on, but you get the idea. If worrying about the number on the scale has got you sitting on the sidelines of life not fully participating, or if you're constantly preoccupied with your weight, calorie intake, the size and shape of your body, or some version of the above, it’s time for a little mindset management.
Virtually all of the chatter in our heads about weight comes from our thoughts. Usually we are telling ourselves some version of how we should look different than we do. That if we weighed less we would finally feel self-confident and attractive, and then we could finally do all the things we enjoy doing.
The problem with those kinds of thoughts is that they tend to lead to obsessing about how we should be eating differently, exercising more, and other guilt and shame inducing thoughts.
I don’t know about you, but feeling guilt and shame has never gotten me to eat more salads and skip desserts!
In fact, it’s just the opposite. I know for me, the more I stress about my weight, the quicker I find myself running for the cookies and eating exactly what I said I wasn’t going to eat. It’s really kind of a crazy cycle. And the worst part is that all the head-space taken up by worry about weight keeps us from being fully present in life, enjoying all the good things that life has to offer.
So what’s the answer? How can we get out of a constant cycle of stressing and obsessing about our weight?
The answer is that we need to first recognize our repetitive negative thoughts,and then consciously decide what and how we want to think. It takes some effort to generate new positive thoughts, but the good news is that you can feel better and get on with your life right now without ever losing a single pound!
Here are some new thoughts you can try on and see what resonates for you.
Some of my favorites are...
Why should the young, skinny people have all the fun?
(Great for when I’m trying on clothes or wearing a swimsuit.)
Beauty and confidence come from within.
My weight has nothing to do with my worth as a person or my ability to show up in my life.
I love me no matter how I look.
Something my husband said about this once really stayed with me. He said that confidence is attractive. I really think that is true, and I have noticed that people with self-confidence attract good things into their lives and seem to really enjoy life regardless of their weight and appearance. Confidence comes from our thoughts, and we are always free to choose our thoughts to create anything we want in our lives.
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but youthful beauty doesn't last. In the aging process our hair, skin, and bodies change, and it’s all a very natural part of life. The more we can accept and even embrace inevitable changes like smile lines, gray hair, stretch marks and wrinkles, the happier we will feel in our own skin as we grow older. I actually think people become more beautiful with time, but it is a different kind of inner beauty that comes from personal growth and life experience. We can nip and tuck, tan and whiten, augment and lipo forever, but nothing will really change if we don’t choose to believe that we are beautiful and lovable just the way we are.
So if you are in the “waiting room” of life, telling yourself that you will do something bigger in your life once you “lose the weight once and for all”, take a good hard look at that and ask yourself where you want to place your priorities. Having been around the weight loss block quite a few times myself, and seeing many friends go through it as well, I can tell you that it can be very challenging to maintain permanent results, especially if you went to extremes to lose the weight. The number on the scale might actually be one of the worst things to tie self-esteem to because it is so variable, and many aspects of it are beyond our control.
It is always possible to love yourself and your body regardless of your current weight, level of fitness, opinions of others, or any other factor.
Please don’t “weight” to love yourself, to enjoy life, to rock that new swimming suit, or anything else you want to do.
My best advice is to look for the good and emphasize the positive. Highlight your most beautiful features, and try not to worry about your perceived flaws. Do your best with what you’ve got, and then get over yourself and enjoy life!
All this being said, I do think a healthy, active lifestyle is a good goal to strive for. Good eating and movement habits are important because they help us feel energized and allow us to keep up with our kids, along with all the other demands of life. When we treat ourselves right, we feel our best and we can accomplish whatever we want to in life. The problem I am addressing here is when we worry over our weight out of a need for approval, or because we are comparing ourselves to a made-up standard of weight and beauty. Sometimes it’s a standard we made-up for ourselves-like getting back to our wedding weight. (Nevermind that it’s been 10 years and 3 kids since we last saw that weight…)
Taking a moderate approach with reasonable expectations is the best long-term approach to health and weight. Beating yourself up and stressing out about the number on the scale will never give you the motivation to eat less and exercise more. If that worked we’d all look like fitness models already! Am I right or am I right?
I recently went to an event where health coach Brad Jensen gave some common sense steps to take before ever considering a diet. I knew all of these things, but I had never heard them put together in quite this way. I really liked that he said to put certain baselines in place before you bother with any other weight-loss efforts. I thought I’d share these because I do think that having a proactive plan in place lessens anxiety about weight. It also gives us something concrete we can do if we want to make positive changes without putting undue stress on ourselves in this area.
You can check out my post with Brad’s advice here.
Mom friends, please stay positive and love yourselves. The only approval you need is self-approval.You can love life and love your body at any weight. Life is so precious and meant to be enjoyed. Please give yourself grace and know that you are beautiful and you are more than enough exactly as you are. Remember that God loves you and He would rather you count your blessings than count your calories.
XOXO
Rachel
